I have started writing this post and erased everything a few times. Sorry for the hiatus, I just have been unloading some emotional baggage to move forward.
Also the school strike and the uncertainty that comes with it caused as I mentioned before some anxiety. I took a leap of faith and applied for this position. I will not say more about this career opportunity before I know the outcome. I did my part now I’m trusting God will do the rest
After over thinking about S, I had a period where he barely crossed my mind. I have come to terms with the fact that he has a girlfriend. More importantly, I realized that I missed the guy I had random Skype and bbm convos filled with laughter . Of course, I’m not as eager to talk to him as I once was. We managed to have honest conversations and cleared the air. awkwardness has left the building.
As far as P is concerned, it is far more complexed as feelings are involved. You know the book and upcoming movie say "Think Like a Man, Act like a Lady" , I think a lot of modern women are Acting like a Man and Thinking like a Lady with their heart at their weakness and that includes me. We can lie to ourselves but in our hearts we know better. Pride was a barrier between us. Even though I find some of his reactions childish, I still find myself missing him at times.
There’s M, an ex lover from another life time. Circumstances made us cross paths. I’m not sure how and why we ended up revising our common past but we are. Many questions were left unanswered when we ended our relationship. Of course some are better left that way but we are doing our best to answer the essential ones. We are definitely not trying to rekindle any romance but we are making peace with our common past once and for all. Obviously, he’s been on my mind.
Finally mystery man, I’m not ready to say anything about him yet. I’m definitely curious, attracted and intrigued. However, I’m still coping with the breakup with P who is still very much in my heart.
I feel like vulnerability is flirting with me heavily so I’m doing what any old crab would do and hide in my shell