Random thoughts on a Monday morning

 

Evidently with my intensive school schedule, my time has been occupied. My mind has  been working overtime as well. So many ideas growing, racing and colliding inside my brain.

Relationship issues: why do women think they need a man to feel safe?, why is it so hard for men and women to communicate properly with each other? why are there so many beautiful, smart, sexy, creative, strong, ambitious women that are single around me? Why men seem to be afraid to approach me at times, they smile from afar and nothing? Why can men be honest about their true interests? Why  so many women lie to themselves every day?

Why do I feel like every time I take one step forward, I take 10 backwards when it comes to relationships with men? Why do I feel like I attract a certain type of men that are not worthy of the woman I’ve become and growing to be?

Friendship issues: why is it so hard to say no to a friend? I hate when I see so-called friends not being honest with each other. It is ok to have different circles and also the whole crew does not have to be all together all the time. It is ok to say, today is not possible because… instead of avoiding that person’s call or text all day and make a bogus excuse after…. I mean if the person can’t understand that and if you can’t tell like it is, maybe you should not be friends.

Memories: why some like me feel the need to hold on to them. I’ve made peace with most of the bad ones… even the ones that have to do with the friend in that  Dear Friend  letter I posted recently. Pictures, letters etc… are just elements that seized an important moment in the book that is your existence, they don’t define who you are today why let them hold you down? If you can’t look at them and prefer destroying them, maybe you aren’t truly at peace with yourself and with your past.

It use to make me cringe when I looked at pictures of her online with her current best friend (another broken friendship, by choice this time, not the right one looking back but nevertheless, by choice). Recently, I found myself smiling looking at them together and thought they looked beautiful and went on with my day. That felt good, to be able to look at them in a picture together and not cringe… or feel miserable instead I did something I love to do SMILE and it was natural like a true SMILE should be.

My son: I cannot believe he will turn 10 in 2013, and I’m so proud of this little man, of my prince . His teacher had such great compliments for him, it brought tears to my eyes…

It is hard to be a single parent but so rewarding, in ways we never imagined possible.

Hope you can relate to my random thoughts on this Monday am, of fall 2012

Marie-Christine Jeanty

 

 

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