Lets not be serious is what too many adults imply to each other when they start talking, dating and every other word used to describe those 21st century emotionless connections. Detachment seems to be the norm (at least on the surface). Everything becomes an unofficial arrangement, a blurred line between lust and love. Behaviours are misleading. So many mixed signals are sent out from one party to another. It makes it all so confusing.
One minute it seems like you are hanging out with one of your boys another you get lost in his arms and a wonderful feeling of wellness takes over. Don’t get too comfortable, tomorrow he will act like a perfect stranger. Mentally brace yourself he is not trying to be official.
Your interactions are the typical modern non relationship status. It is not quite simply lust but it is most definitely not love; at least not for both parties. She shows genuine interest in your work, hobbies and life goals. She is able to have conversations about almost anything and everything from football to midterm elections but as soon as you mention dinner with your folks she finds what she thinks is a clever way to change the subject. Didn’t you get the memo? She isn’t in the business of catching feelings.
Most adults nowadays are so self involved. It is all about or almost all about individual wants and needs. Some are too busy building a career, accumulating material things. Others prefer to work on making themselves a better person; in the end they all seem to be ways to avoid caring for another human being. What is behind this commitment phobia? I wish I knew! In the end, what most fail to realize is that having a partner to support them through their journey makes it all even more worth it. On top of if it could open their eyes to whole new perspectives.
«I’m sort of seeing someone» he said, when she tried to breakdown his walls. «I’m not over my ex» she replied when he tried to find the key to her heart. Fear is an obstacle to great things in life. Fear of failure, fear of disappointment, fear of heartbreak, fear of not being up to par… are examples of fears that come between individuals and their perhaps common happiness? No one wants to take a leap of faith. They rather keep lying to themselves instead of risking losing control. No one seems to ready to say Lets give us a chance…
They say life is a cycle hopefully the next one will involve humans genuinely caring about each other rather than simply using or abusing one another. In the meanwhile we’re stuck in a cycle where people build up thick walls when it comes to love and show almost no boundaries when it comes to lust.
MC Jeanty November 10th, 2014